My hair loss and regrowth journey.  Like many women with cancer, chemotherapy caused me to lose all of my hair.  Yes, every…single…strand.  My hair loss and regrowth journey will never be forgotten.

My Hair Loss Journey

Though the hair loss was an expected side effect, I was not fully prepared when the day came.  Several people advised me to cut my hair before it fell out, but I could not bring myself to do it.  Mostly because I secretly hoped I would be in the slim percentage that didn’t lose my hair.  However, I made a decision that at the first sign of hair loss, I would cut it all off.  It was estimated that I would lose my hair after the 2nd chemotherapy treatment and boy was that prediction spot on.  The day following my second treatment, I brushed my hair in preparation for my follow up appointment and there it was, a brush full of hair!  Funny thing is that I never even felt it coming out.  Looking at the brush full of hair was extremely scary.

Initially, I panicked and freaked out a bit.  “Oh my god, was this really happening?” I wasn’t ready. Truthfully, I would never be ready.  I immediately stopped brushing and wore a hat that day and did not comb my hair again for 2 days.   My mom was already on stand by to shave my head when I was ready. Unfortunately it was now time to face my fear.  My daughter insisted on watching my mother shave my head. This made her sad. Although I pretended to be strong, that strength only lasted for a few minutes.

Saying Goodbye

When we first learned that I would need chemo, my mom knew this would be a hard adjustment for me, therefore she vowed that when I lost my hair she would shave hers as well.  As soon as she was done shaving my head, without saying a word, she then did her own.

This was an emotional day.  Once of the most emotional days since my diagnosis.   I now looked like a true “cancer patient”.  Looking in the mirror was hard and it took me a several days to truly face a mirror.  It was a constant reminder that I had cancer even on days when I wasn’t ill and actually felt well.  I did not want my kids, nor husband to see me like this.  It took a couple months before I would let them see me without a scarf or wig covering my bald head.  My 12 year old son took the longest to adjust.  Some people eventually get used to having a bald head and some are even able to embrace it.  I never got to that point.  As a matter of fact, only my parents, children, and husband ever got to see me with a bald head.

As a female with breast cancer, I learned that a big part of the struggle with hair loss is related to loosing everything that you identify with as a female.  First your hair, (and I mean every strand of it from every part of your body including armpits and eye brows) and then your breast.

My Regrowth Journey

What a regrowth journey!  I have never had short hair in my life. Neither as a child, nor as an adult.  And now I had absolutely no hair at all.  Don’t misunderstand, short hair works for some people. I quickly realized that having short hair by choice is not the same as not having a choice in the matter at all.

From a clean scalp, to now having a baby afro!  My hair is growing back.  Still short, but healthy and most importantly still growing.  I have decided to share my hair growth journey over the past one year.  After despising this comment and hearing it so many times, I can finally now agree that yes, “IT IS HAIR AND IT WILL GROW BACK.”

Everyone’s journey and experiences vary, but despite the differences, it is a difficult time for cancer patients and their families.  Support and encouragement are important during this time.  Allow your loved one to grieve their hair loss.  Allow them to vent.  Most importantly, respect their privacy and dignity as they deal with the hair loss in their own way.